


Steven Broke My T.V

by JaKedeSnaKe



Series: Steven Broke It [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Comedy, Dimension Travel, Gen, Meta, Post-Episode: s06e10 Prickly Pair, Southern/Appalachian Vernacular, Tad bit of angst but there ain’t a good deal of it, Vernacular Writing, cursing, so much cursing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:14:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22165459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaKedeSnaKe/pseuds/JaKedeSnaKe
Summary: I dunno how the hell this happened, but Steven opened some sorta wormhole into my dimension and - yeah, now I’m in a cartoon.
Series: Steven Broke It [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1781347
Comments: 30
Kudos: 86





	1. I Just Wanted to Watch T.V

There are few things that get me happier than seein’a new Steven Universe episode. With dynamic characters, varied character design, gorgeous background scenery, and real beautiful low-fi background music, there are few things that I don’t like about the show. ‘Specially now with Steven Universe: Future explorin’ whole new avenues for the characters while stayin’ true to the show’s light charm and dark intrigue.

Strangely enough, I didn’t find out that there was a new episode until I just went through my “recorded” tab on Xfinity and found out there was a new episode. And even stranger, there ain't s'posed to be new episodes for a couple months - yet there one is, sittin’ patiently in the episode menu. 

Did the person in charge of episode airing fuck up _so_ badly that they leaked the whole damn thing to air on T.V? I mean, it can’t be that far off, similar things have happened before. 

It doesn’t even have a title. . . it just says “Season 1: Episode 10.5” and - wait, “10.5?” The fuck kinda episode number is that?

Eh, fuck it. The oddness so far is prolly just some technical errors from Xfinity, I reckon. I mean, why bother gettin’ worked up about it? Right now I’m fixin’ to watch a brand-new episode on a Friday night while my family is fast asleep - what more could I want?

So I press “play” and - alright, wait. Something’s off.

There wasn’t an intro. There wasn’t a title card. It just started at what seemed to be the middle of the episode. Was this some sorta “the story starts in the middle”-type theme? Like Moby Dick? Nah, Steven Universe never really does that sorta thing. 

I reason that Xfinity’s recording software had accidentally skipped ahead. So I grab the remote to rewind and - wait. It’s not working. I mean, sure, sometimes fast-forward and rewind don’t work on certain programs, but it always comes up with a notification saying that it ain’t enabled, but now it ain’t . . . Fuck, is my whole damn T.V setup broken?

Well, whatever the hell’s happening, I’ma just watch what’s already on right now. I can always fully watch the episode online, after all. I mean, what’s happenin’ right now looks real interestin’.

“I _don’t_ need your help!” Steven exclaims. He seems to be in the middle of a heated argument with the Crystal Gems in the livin’ room of the house.

“Yes you do!” Pearl protests earnestly. “Steven, you’re just not being yourself lately!”

“Oh, so now I’m supposed to only act like _you_ want me too?!” he retorts virulently.

“Steven, please, we care for you,” Garnet attempts convincin’ monotonely, yet with a hint of distress.

“ _No_! I don’t want your pity! I just need somebody like _me_ to talk to! I-I just . . .”

He unconsciously moves in front of the T.V, the audience’s point-of-view now taking form as the T.V screen - just like at the end of “Cry for Help.”

He trembles and starts turning pink. Aw shit, it’s gettin’ good!

“ ** _I just want another human being!_**!” he shouted, hurtling a heavy punch into the T.V screen and _waitwhatthefuck_.

It‘s a hand. A fucking, honest-to-God _hand_ is poking clean through my T.V. _Steven’s hand._ I scream and jump up to stand beside the couch, getting ready to book it outta here in case some sorta “The Ring”-type shit starts happenin’.

Steven looks equally shocked, and swiftly retracts his hand from the T.V before becoming un-pink. The point-of-view still hasn’t changed from being locked from Steven’s T.V. 

After he pulls his hand out the Gems come rushing to his side to see the new hole he put in the T.V _that’snotafuckinghole_.

Rather than a hole being there - y’know, what _should_ be there if a hand done busted through a flat-screen T.V - it instead looks like some sorta . . . glossy sheen, covering where Steven’s hand was. Like some sorta sci-fi portal. 

The Gems are looking at the glimmerin’ thing right now. “What the _heck_ is that?!” Amethyst exclaims in intrigued shock.

“Don’t touch that!” Pearl reprimands, swatting Amethyst’s hands away from touching the “hole.”

Is this some kinda weird meta-joke or something? I mean - uh, the T.V’s gettin’ brighter. It’s startin’ from the hole and - shit that’s bright! _Fuck_ me that’s - 

**_~Zip!~_ **

_Hrrngh_ , uh, where the, huh? The fuck happened?

I hear voices. Clouded voices, like I’m hearin’ with cups on my ears. They sound mostly feminine, with a male teen’s voice breaking through every now and -

Ow, fuck! My head, it’s hurtin’ like a bitch! Did I get some kinda seizure from lookin’ at the T.V?

The T.V. Oh Lordy, was that some sorta glitch? Am I in the hospital right now, with some sorta brain or eye damage? Is my family okay?

Okay, gonna try opening my eyes. For some reason it feels like giant weights are attached to my eyelids - they feel like they weigh a ton and are pulling down so hard my eyelids hurt. Lemme just, ah . . . 

‘Kay, I got ‘em open a crack. Hey, when did the hospital become so . . . colorful? Am, am I in the childrens’ ward? I’m fifteen, shouldn’t I be in - 

“Hey Pearl! He’s awake!”

That teenage voice, that name, they sound familiar. _Way too fucking_ familiar. Am I dreaming? Lucid dreaming? I mean, if I was lucid dreaming I’d be dreaming about porn or dinosaurs and not some sorta colorful fairyland -

“Are you O.K dude?”

Yeah, alright, no, this is fucking weird. That . . . that sounds like Ameth - no, no, you’re _not_ goin’ there. There’s a perfectly logical reason behind why I‘m hearin’ shit. Maybe I just woke from a coma and the cast of Steven Universe is here for some sorta Make-A-Wish-type deal or somethin’.

“Please, try waking up - we need to know if you’re okay.”

 _Urgh_ , yeah, fine, sure, I’ll open my eyes fully now that my eyelids don’t weigh a - 

No.

No. Fucking. Way.

It-it’s them. It’s _fucking_ th-them. Fucking G-Garnet, Amethyst, P-Pearl, St-Steven all c-colorful and 2-2D, _2-fucking-D_ \- 

“Hey,” Steven says, “Are you feeling alright?”


	2. This Is Hella Weird

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fuck me I’m 2D?

“Hey,” Steven says, “Are you feeling alright?”

_F U C K I N G S H I-_

Oh fuck oh fuck oh shit what the fuck is going on holy - 

“Woah, relax. We’re not going to hurt you,” Steven reassures me. _The fucking_ Steven.

It was only until now that I realized my panic unconsciously made me jolt up and retreat to the corner of the couch, all while shielding myself with my arms. I calm down but don’t move, still remaining holed up in the corner of the couch.

My mind is racing right now. This. Ain’t. Right. Am I in some really high-quality VR set? No, no, I can feel the welcomin’ warmth of the beach house, and I can smell the salty seaside air wafting in from outside. But I live in fuckin’ eastern Tennessee. Well, I _lived_ in eastern Tennessee. 

So, I think . . . I’m in the dimension of Steven Universe. Yeah, that’s seems ‘bout right.

“Talk to us, dude! You doin’ okay?” Amethyst prods. _Motherfucking_ Amethyst.

I . . . I want to reply but I just _can’t_. It’s like the insanity of this situation is holding the words down in my throat. And besides, what am I supposed to say? “ _Hi_?” C’mon, c’mon, think of a normal response, think of - 

Y’know what? No. This ain’t normal, this ain’t a normal situation, this probably _ain’t never_ happened before in all of human history. So I’ll just say whatever I damn well please, or try’n get some confirmations at least.

“Is - is it r-really y-you?” I manage to stammer out, still in the corner of the couch seized in shock.

The Gems and Steven exchange puzzled glances. “Um, yes, we are the Crystal Gems,” Pearl replies with a tad bit of suspicion. “Though it is a little odd seeing how a human that came from a foreign dimension seems to have heard about us . . . “

Okay now how the _fuck_ does she -

“Where are you from?” Garnet interrogates.

Oh, yes, of course, I’m from a dimension where I was watching y’all on fucking T.V. Where y’all start off as storyboards on scrips of fucking paper. Where people ship y’all fucking willy-nilly. No, I ain’t telling y’all that. I mean, I prolly don’t know a whole lot ‘bout reasoning with people hailing from cartoon universes - hell, I don’t think _anybody_ knows - but I imagine that tellin’ them that their whole world is in a cartoon would cause some sorta existential crisis. So, I lie.

“. . . Ocean Town,” I reply with as much cool as I can muster.

“No, you aren’t. You came out of Steven’s T.V,” Garnet knowingly corrects.

Fuck. Somehow I forgot that fact while I was thinkin’ of towns in the show other than Beach City. Uh, c’mon, save face save face save - 

“If you don’t want to talk about it right now, I get it - you look a little shaken,” Steven correctly points out. I nod in affirmation, slowly as I‘m still havin’ a hard time believing what I’m seeing. Somehow I gather the willpower to sit up, yet I do it with such visible shakiness you woulda thought I just got jumped.

“. . . Uh, where’s the bathroom?” I ask the group. I know damn well where the bathroom is, but if I make a beeline towards it without asking for directions they’ll get even more suspicious of me than they already are.

Everybody points towards it. Sheepishly thanking them, I stand up and hobble over to the bathroom, quickly entering it and slamming the door shut. Now I can get a good look of myself in the mirror, to see if me turnin’ 2D caused any sorta issues - 

Oh, shit. I look _so fucked_. Any lines of depth on my face are gone. Any discolorations that once were prominent on my face are gone now that my entire face has the same color pallet. I guess that’s good, ‘cause my acne scars are gone. But my face looks _way_ too smooth.

Aw hell! My nose somehow looks _bigger_ and more aquiline than it does in reality. And my hair - even though it’s also lackin’ depth and is just one shade of dark brown - is still noticeably curlier than before. I mean, I already looked like a bit of a Jewish caricature in real life but this is ridiculous. Man, do I look sigogglin.

Now lemme get a good look at my hands - aaaannnnddd they’re not any better. Like before, there’s no depth, no features, it’s all one pallet, it’s all the same. I got fuckin’ Play-Doh hands. Great. Fantastic.

I mean, I guess I _should_ be excited about this. It’s not like every day you get to meet your favorite cartoon characters, after all. The thing is, _I_ only wanna see ‘em on VR or in a game or at some sorta con, not like _this_. 

Oh, wait, I hear ‘em talkin’. Gimme a sec, I’ma press my ear against the door.

“How the _heck_ did I do that?!” Steven exclaims to the Gems, obviously in stress based off the tone of his voice.

There’s a pause, not a pause of thinking but one that seems more like a shocked pause.

“Steven, your mother, e-even she knew little about this power,” Pearl nervously states.

Oh, that’s how Pearl knows ‘bout this. So this is just more wack-ass stuff that Pink could do? What next, she could summon demons or some shit?

“Mom could do this?” Steven replies in stunned realization.

“Y-yes,” Pearl replies. “She said she was able to pull beings from foreign dimensions into ours. Before Spinel was given to her this would be how she used to entertain herself.

“B-but this only happened by using specific portals that link universes based off of mystical connections. I don’t understand . . . What links do we have to a . . . T.V, of all things?”

“Hmm, that _is_ a little odd how that works . . .” Garnet pondered.

Oof. I’ma have to tell ‘em, ain’t I?

“How come we’ve never seen Rose do it? Or was it like her tantrum powers and she never used it while she lived with us?” Amethyst prods.

“Yes. She swore she would never do it again after she accidentally summoned something terrible eleven-thousand years ago.”

“What did she summon?” Steven questions in a worried tone.

A demon. I’m callin’ it.

“. . . I'm not entirely certain. This all happened before I was given to her, and all she mentioned about the event was something regarding a yellow triangle."

Huh. Sounds kinda familiar.

“But that doesn’t matter now,” Pearl clarifies. “Steven, your mother was only able to summon beings from other dimensions through the specific linked portals _while_ she was using all of her emotional and mental might.”

“You must be going through a lot of emotional stress right now in order to successfully pull off what you did,” Garnet reiterates.

“Steven, please, let’s talk about this. It’s not good to be puttin’ this off for so long,” Amethyst pleads.

Is Steven’s whole character arc gonna get fixed right-here, right-now because he pulled me through his fuckin’ T.V? How’s that gonna - 

“No, no, just forget about my - just forget about this. We need to focus on helping whoever came through my T.V,” Steven concludes, dismissing the others’ futile attempts at therapy. 

Welp. So goes that. Hell, I can practically hear the Gems’ disappointment at yet another case of Steven forgoing his own needs for others. Oh hold on, they’re walkin’ over here. Now they’re standin’ outside the bathroom, the door still bein’ closed.

“Hey, you doing okay?” Steven asks me.

Fuckin’ peachy. “Y-yeah, I’m doin’ fine. Just a lil’ shocked, that’s all.”

“Do you mind telling us your name?”

I mean, why the hell not? “Martin.”

“Could you come out so we can talk about your situation?” Garnet calmly requests.

 _Situation_ , yeah, that’s a way of describin’ it. “Alright,” I acquiesce, seein’ as how I ain’t got nothin’ else better to do.

I slowly open the door. All the Crystal Gems are standing in front of it, varying emotions written across their faces. Amethyst’s lookin’ all sympathetic, Pearl seems concerned, Garnet ain’t conveying anything as usual, and Steven looks -

Guilty. Like, _really_ guilty. Aw, poor dude.

“Let’s go over to the couch,” Steven says remorsefully. “We got a lot to talk about.”


	3. Interrogation Ain’t Fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Gems try and interrogate me like I’m some sorta Guantanamo Bay prisoner and Peridot wants to skewer me alive.

“So, do you know where you are right now?”

Steven and the Gems just led me back to the couch for some more questionin’. Right now I’m sandwiched between Pearl and Steven on my left and Garnet and Amethyst on my right. They’re all lookin’ goodwilled enough (even Steven, who’s still lookin’ pretty torn up), but it’s evident that they’re intent on gettin’ answers from me.

“Um, no. I dunno where I am.”

“Where’d you come from anyway?” Amethyst asks next.

Oh, shit. Doesn’t America in the S.U dimension have different state names? Is Tennessee still called Tennessee? Ah, just in case, I don’t wanna risk it.

“. . . Kansas.” Yeah, that’s where alternate-Hollywood is, right? Or maybe that’s just what California’s called, I dunno.

My response ain’t raisin’ any eyebrows. Good, good. Two questions down, who-fucking-knows-how-many more to go.

“How do you know who we are?” Pearl then questions.

Oh, yeah, I’m boned. The hell am I supposed to say? “You, you look like some people I know back home,” I reply, real worried of their response.

Suddenly Garnet stiffens. “Listen Martin,” she demands in a calm, yet stern manner. _Shit_.

“We want to help you return to where you came from. But we cannot do that if you keep telling lies. Now, are you going to tell us the truth or not?”

 _Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck shit fuck_ \- 

“Garnet, wait,” Steven butts in. “We don’t know if he’s lying or not. For all we know he could still be in a bit of shock.”

Garnet grows quiet for a second. A couple moments later she frowns. “You’re right. My future vision is blocked from viewing his future, or anything else about him really. Probably because he isn’t from this dimension. . .” she says disappointedly.

“Well, let’s just bring over Bismuth, Lapis, and Peridot,” Pearl introduces. “With more Gems at the ready, surely we can get to the bottom of this case!”

The fuck do they figure I am, some sorta jigsaw puzzle?

But all this talkin’ was a slap in the face for me. If I keep lettin’ off about things I know about them, it won’t end up good. I gotta keep playin’ dumb, or at least just ask stuff about them so I won’t come off as all-knowing. Like, I know that sooner or later I’ma slip up and accidentally call one of the Gems or Steven by their names, so I’ll just beat it to the punch and ask ‘em right now.

“Hey, uh, what are y’all’s names? Y’know, to make things less confusin’.”

They all share an apprehensive glance before they reveal their names for what they think is the first time.

“Steven.” “Garnet.” “Amethyst.” “Pearl.”

“Cool, cool, uh,” I respond, “Nice to meet you.”

They don’t answer immediately, but thankfully Steven returns my greeting. “Nice to meet you too, I guess.”

He stands up. “Alright Pearl, I’ll go bring Bismuth, Peridot, and Lapis over. I’ll meet you all back in a bit.” Determined he moves over to the warp pad and disappears into a brilliant column of light. 

I cringe at how loud it actually is. “Yeesh, that’s actually real loud in person,” I comment aloud. I mean, it‘s one of those things you just gotta say out loud, ‘cause that was _real_ \- wait, why are the Gems lookin’ at me all funny?

“What do you mean, ‘in person?’” Pearl questions with a raised eyebrow.

 _Motherfucker_. Me ‘n my goblin brain. I . . . I don’t got nothin’ to counter this. Uh - play dumb!

“Hm, wha?” I reply with as much cluelessness as possible.

“Whaddya mean, ‘what?’ What does ‘in person’ mean!” Amethyst demands, obviously gettin’ real sick of my shit.

“Oh! Yeah, that jus’ reminded me of a sci-fi game I’ve played.” Oh, yeah, that makes a whole lotta sense. Great goin’ Martin, really good job not makin’ this any more suspicious.

Pearl looks _pissed_. “Martin, I really think - !” Suddenly the warp pad dings and lights up again, and Steven, Lapis, Peridot, and Bismuth strut out from it. Thank God!

Quickly I bolt up from the couch to meet them. “Heeeeeyyyyy, Steven! Who’re your friends?” I ask, desperately tryin’ to get the other Gems off my back.

“Oh,” he answers, “this is Lapis, Bismuth, and Peridot. They’re Gems, like Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl.”

“Gems?” I ask in a naive tone that was much too forced, still tryna look as out-of-it as humanly possible.

“Steven,” Bismuth asks him, a little confused. “You said that something important was happening at the Temple. But by the looks of things there just happens to be a human inside your house.”

“Wwweeelll, the story of _how_ he got here and _where_ he came from makes things important,” he replies a bit sheepishly.

The primary Crystal Gems get up from the couch and push their way past me to converse in hushed mutterings with the others. Now all the gems are talkin’. Right now Bismuth, Lapis, and Peridot are lookin’ confused. Alright, now their eyes are widening in shock. Huh, Peridot just gasped all zestfully. ‘Kay, she’s runnin’ over to me now, what -

“Are you from a higher plane of existence or lower? How do the physics of your dimension differ from ours? What geographical differences are present between our two dimensions? Where did - “ 

_Fuck_ , her voice somehow sounds even more nasal in person. Look, Peridot’s one of my favorite characters in the show, with how richly she’s voice-acted and how well-orchestrated her character arc is and all. But _damn_ her voice sounds like a cheese grater on my ears.

Steven chuckles nervously. “Peridot, relax, give the poor guy a break.”

‘Poor guy?’ You shittin’ me? What am I, ten?

“Peridot, you do still happen to have your lie detector, correct?” Pearl asks a bit too hopefully.

Oh they _better_ not - 

“Yes, as a matter-of-fact, I do! Wait right here, I’ll come back.” And with that she zooms off to the warp pad to retrieve it.

Are you _fucking_ kidding me -

Lapis chuckles as she watches Peridot run off to retrieve a whole-ass lie detector. “I haven’t seen her that excited since she tried making a jetpack for herself.”

“How’d that turn out?” Amethyst asks, intrigued to find out the likely comedic result.

”Like, an acre of forest burned down, I dunno.”

These schemin’ pieces of - wait, wait, hold on. I ain’t really mad at the Gems. In all honesty I don’t blame ‘em for wantin’ to uncover more ‘bout me, the extradimensional human who just kinda walked straight outta their T.V. I guess I’m just mad at the fact that, if Peridot does have some sorta lie detector, I am wholly _fucked_.

How do you cheat a lie detector test anyhow? Don’t you gotta be really tired or a sociopath or -

“Wait, Pearl!” Steven objects. “We can’t just hook him up to a lie detector, that’s wrong!”

“Uh, yeah! Don’t I get some sorta say in this?” I say, nodding in agreement with Steven.

Oh goodie, Pearl’s back to lookin’ pissed again. “You know that you are in _no_ position to argue against this, Martin! Especially considering how you refuse to tell us why you seem to possess such a clairvoyant knowledge of us! This _needs_ to be made sense of.”

Welp, can’t really argue with that logic. After all, I’m pretty sure prisoners don’t get a say in how they want their waterboarding anyways.

“And Steven,” Pearl replies while turning back to Steven, talking down to him. “This is the best option we have to - “

Uh-oh, the warp pad’s lightin’ up. Huh, Peridot’s a speedy lil’ fucker. When the light column of the warp pad ceases out she exits lugging a hefty grey box complete with wires and polygraphs and all that sorta junk. She hobbles over to the coffee table and almost slams the lie detector down onto it when Garnet places her hand on her shoulder.

“We just fixed that table. You’re gonna break it if you place it down so harshly.”

“When did _that_ happen?” 

An uneasy moment of silence fills the air and hangs in the beach house. I try my hardest to make my face not show that I understand where the silence is comin’ from.

Peridot shrugs and gingerly places the lie detector onto the table, thankfully only earning a couple creaks from the crudely-reassembled piece of furniture. 

Bismuth places a reassuring hand onto Pearl’s shoulder. “You know, I could always build you a better one.”

I can see a hint of a blush on Pearl’s cheek, and, uh . . . . Y’know, I don’t quite remember lie detectors havin’ _that_ many wires. And . . . are they s’posed to end in hooks?

“Hey, uh, Peridot was it? Why d’ya have so many, uh, sharp wires?” I ask, fearin’ the answer.

“Oh, you don’t have to be concerned about that,” she clarifies. “You’ll be unconscious when we actually utilize those.”

What in God’s name does she mean by - 

“Woah, woah, woah, wait a minute Peridot!” Steven halts. “This isn’t right! Using this wouldn’t be a good way of learning more about Martin. Plus, I _think_ he needs to be awake if you want the lie detector to work.”

“Not in the way _I_ use it,” Peridot grumbles, looking down at her probably dangerous doohickey.

“Look, what if I just talk with Martin alone? I think a one-on-one with another human would be best for him and for all of us.”

Huh, yeah, that ain’t soundin’ like too bad of an idea now. Me and Steven, one-on-one. Steven, who’s recently been turnin’ all pink and goin’ ape ‘cause of his emotional issues. Alone with me. Hmm.

Wait, why am I concerned? Steven’s historically been a caring and rational dude, so why would that change now? Wait, brain, don’t go answerin’ that.

Steven turns towards me, an understanding smile on his face that instantly pushes my fears back into the recesses of my mind. “Are you okay with that, Martin?”

Yeah, sure, I’ll vibe with this. “Okay, man.”


	4. The Cat’s Outta the Bag

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone’s shocked once I reveal the truth - through a meme.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One you get across to the link just copy that bad boy and slap it in another tab’s url to see the image.

“Are you feeling okay?”

“Uh, yeah, doin’ pretty good.”

Steven well-wishing smile falters a bit as he and I walk to the hill atop the Temple, obviously sensing that I am far from feelin’ completely good right now.

“Hey, I know that this is, pretty weird. But,” he pauses to put a nurturing hand on my shoulder, “I just want to let you know that I’m sticking with you, even while the Gems seem a little suspicious of you right now. I trust you.”

Aw shucks, that is right kind of him to - 

“. . . Besides, this is all _my_ fault anyways.”

Oh dang. That’s, uh, less wholesome. Should I say somethin’? I kinda do, but my choice of words are evading me. 

We near the lighthouse top of the hill in silence. Steven walks ahead of me and plops down onto the lighthouse steps, patting a spot next to him to signal me to sit there. He’s lookin’ awful, like he’s actually being torn up from the inside. Doin’ as I’m told I gingerly and considerately sit next to him as if he was nothin’ more but a china doll.

“I’m so sorry,” he finally says after another period of silence.

“Hey man, you didn’t mean to do what ya done.”

“But, I kind of did.”

What’s that?

“It’s just,” he chuckles exasperatedly, “It’s just, I’m so _sick_ of not being to talk to anyone about how I feel. The Gems wouldn’t take me seriously, Connie’s away with college prep courses, I _know_ I can’t talk to Sadie and Lars about this after almost killing them, and Dad wouldn’t know what to do!”

Wait, hold on. Is - is Steven actually sharing his problems with someone? With _my dumbass_ of all people?

“I guess I just wanted _somebody_ to talk to about this. _Heh_ , guess I got my wish, didn’t I?”

He pauses, lookin’ at me all apologetically. “Sorry, you don’t even know what I’m talking about, do you?”

 _You poor dude, of course I do_ I desperately wanna console him.

“I - I’m sorry to dump this all onto you, but there’s nobody else who I can talk with about this! And even talking to you about this, I feel conflicted! Guess I just thought that, since we’re gonna try and bring you back to your dimension soon, it wouldn’t be too bad to have at least _someone_ to talk with.

“So, yeah, this is all my fault,” he laments, looking down at his chest.

“No, Steven,” I protest, tryin’ to calm his thoughts. “You ain’t had _no_ way of knowing that you were able to do that! I . . . uh . . . “

Man, I ain’t the one for this type of emotional shit! What am I supposed to say that’ll comfort him? Preferably something that doesn’t go revealin’ I know a whole lot about him. I mean, I can’t just say _hey man, I know how you feel, I’ve been watchin’ you undergo each and every one of your poignant life moments since you were thirteen!_ I can’t just reveal all of that to him!

. . . Well, now that I’m thinkin’ ‘bout it, I guess I could in a way. I reckon I’ve been holding the truth off for far too long now. It’s freakin’ out the Gems and now Steven’s all sad. I mean, he just let loose on me his most interpersonal thoughts he ain’t even told his family.

‘Kay, yeah, I’ve made up my mind: I‘ma come clean to him. I’ll try doin’ it gradually, so instead of it bein’ all at once and makin’ him freak out it’ll soothe his conscience a bit. Though, truth be told, I ain’t never been one to be discrete. Welp, here goes nuttin’.

“I . . . I get how you feel. ’Smatter of fact I . . . completely understand how you feel.”

Steven shoots me a raised eyebrow in reaction to the odd toning of what I just said.

“Hey, hey, look. I’m not a bad guy or anything.” I defend. Yeesh, that sounds lame.

“What are you saying?” Steven asks, partly confused, partly wary.

“I, uh, may have not been completely clear with y’all.”

I pause, tryin’ to let this reveal up lightly piece-by-piece. “. . . What you did to Sadie and Lars - y’know, with the dome ‘n all - ya didn’t mean to.”

Steven’s eyes liketa grow to the size of dinner plates. He jumps up in a stance that‘s ready to flee, a mixture of shock, fear, and betrayal written all across his face. Aw c’mon, how the hell was that too abrupt?

“ _How!_ \- How do you know that happened?” he demands in a frightened tone.

“I know a lot more than you think, Steven! I _know_ what you’re goin’ through, with how you’re feelin’ all lonely ‘n powerless to stop your friends from movin’ on with their lives and - “

“Stop! Just stop! What are you - how - “

_Don’t turn pink don’t turn pink don’t turn pink_

Steven takes a deep, shaky breath, regainin’ a semblance of his composure. “I - I don’t have any idea how you know about this. You’re going to have to explain this to me. _A-And_ to the Gems also.”

I stay silent, but nod in agreement. Hopefully the Gems will take this better than Steven did.

“So, y’all are aware of the Multiverse Theory, right?” I ask after the Crystal Gems and Steven position themselves to be sittin’ attentively on the couch, trying to build up to the revelation I’m about to unleash.

I mean, they could know a bit ‘bout it. Right? Garnet’s probably the most likely to know ‘bout this, since she’s got her future vision ‘n all. Maybe Pearl too; she fucks with that nerd junk to vibe with the idea. 

“Yes. I’m aware of the concept.” Garnet replies succinctly.

“Well, obviously!” Pearl retorts, a little offended. “What other phenomena could be the reason behind Pink’s attraction powers?”

“‘Kay. So, accordin’ to the idea, any and every possible timeline exists in some sorta alternate universe.”

The others nod. Alright, so far, so good.

“So, followin’ in line with that idea, I could come from a universe where . . . y’all are in a T.V show?” I nervously say, my voice rising.

They just blink.

“What?” Pearl squawks. “That’s preposterous! How could that even be possible?”

“That’s not funny, dude,” Amethyst remarks kinda scathingly. “I thought you were gonna be real with us.”

“Are you still lying to us?” Lapis asks, annoyed.

The others don’t say anythin’, but that don’t mean they’re takin’ it any better. Bismuth’s worriedly thinking about the idea, as well as Steven and Peridot. Garnet‘s all stonefaced but I can tell that her eyes behind her shades are lookin’ at me all disapprovingly.

Now I’m desperate. Sure, I don’t want ‘em to freak out over the ramifications of being in a literal cartoon, _but_ I also don’t want them to blow what I’m sayin’ off. That’d just make me seem like more of a liar, and they’d become even more suspicious of me.

“I’m _not_ lyin’!” I beg. “Please, ya gotta hear me out!”

I start combin’ my head, looking for anything I could say that would prove my integrity. Suddenly my brain remembers feeling a weight in my left sweatpants pocket.

My phone. How the _fuck_ have I managed to forget my phone ‘til now. Granted, the whole shock of my situation probably shoved it outta my mind ‘til right now. 

“Here! I’ll prove it!” I say as I whip my iPhone out and unlock it.

My home screen, which was that picture of the black guy standin’ in front of the Perc 30 Slushie machine, is now just comprised of vague white and black shapes. Does _every_ 3D thing become oversimplified when it becomes a cartoon? 

Well, never-mind that. I still gotta use this to prove myself. Just gotta open up the Internet and - ah, shit. No service. Figures, Verizon probably don’t exist in this dimension. What else can I use . . . 

Wait a minute - my photos! I gotta have something Steven Universe-related on there! . . . Uh, c’mon, there’s gotta be somethin’ on here. There’s _has to_ be!

I - uh, oh no. No. This - ain’t no way this the only thing I have saved on here. C’mon, really?! _Sonofa_ \- alright, yep, sure, fine. It’ll haveta do.

I swallow embarrassment and flash my phone in the others’ direction. “. . . Here. See?”

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/03/ec/ae/03ecae0b99244a8010d54896736c40f6.jpg

Everyone’s faces light up in shock as they see my shit meme. Hell, even Garnet’s shades dissipate into lil’ sparkles at the sight.

“How, how d-did _you_ get that picture?!” Pearl demands as her face blushes blue with embarrassment.

“B-But there was nobody around when Spinel fought you all - right?” Peridot worriedly asks.

“I am _telling_ you - I am from a dimension where you guys are in a cartoon,” I make sure to say clearly.

“This was a scene from . . .” I don’t think they’re ready to hear that the whole Spinel event was for a movie, so I‘m not gonna mention that. “. . . One of the episodes. The show is how I, as well as other people, know about y’all.”

There’s a pause of critical thinkin’ from everybody. Huh. Never in all my years did I think a godforsaken _meme_ would save me.

“Wow,” Steven first breaks the silence. “That . . . explains a lot. Sorry to freak out on you earlier.”

“I cannot believe you were, _right_. Pink . . . never managed to bring in a being that was aware of this,” Pearl manages to stammer out, a hand comin’ up to cover her mouth in astonishment.

“That’s jus’ ‘cause I’m from a dimension where y’all are on T.V,” I try to reassure with relativism. “Heck, there’s prolly a dimension where _I’m_ in a cartoon!”

Huh, now that’s a thought. Wonder how much of it consists of me watchin’ the Lunch Club and writing fanfiction. Or whackin’ it.

“This is why you didn’t want to tell us the truth. . . . We’re sorry for not believing you,” Garnet apologizes.

“I mean, yeah, sure,” I reply much too quickly. They can’t be takin’ this that well, right? Any minute now the truth’ll fully settle into them and they’ll freak out over the ramifications of bein’ in a cartoon. I only just have to brace for the outburst - 

“Meh, alright,” Lapis concludes. 

_what_

“A-Aren’t y’all a little, y’know, mad or somethin’?” I question fearfully, afraid that if I ask it the Gems and Steven will be all like _huh, yeah, now that you mention it we_ are _pissed._

“Why would we be?” Garnet asks while summoning back her shades.

“‘Cause I’m one of literally _millions_ of people that know all of your lives’ most poignant moments!”

Bismuth chuckles. “Nah, I don’t care, you’re alright in my book.”

“But - I - uh - “

“Sure, this is _really weird_ and all,” Amethyst notes. “But you and other people watching us on T.V _literally_ doesn’t affect us in any way ‘cause you can’t influence us or anything. Well, ‘cept for you.” The others nod in consensus.

“Plus, it’s kind of nice to know that people are interested in our lives at all,” Lapis mentions all delightedly.

“What ratings do we have?” Peridot asks all intrigued.

“Uh, like an 8.3 on IMDB, I think.”

Peridot gasps, eyes twinkling. “That’s even higher than what Camp Pining Hearts has! We must be a _very_ well-concocted show,” she remarks snootily, a hand coming up to her breast in pride.

Garnet smiles coolly. “This adds a lot to human speculations about the multiverse. It seems that this _does_ seem to confirm the quilted universe hypothesis.”

“Oh, please. If _anything_ this proves Tegmark’s mathematical universe hypothesis!” Pearl counters, no longer freakin’ out. “. . . But, I _suppose_ this could also mandate the existence of the many-worlds interpretation.”

“I think it mostly falls in line with the infinite monkey theorem and modal realism, hmm. Yeah, that sounds correct,” Garnet ruminates, comin’ to a conclusion.

Am I havin’ a stroke? Is this what havin’ a stroke feels like? Are these words real?

“. . . Okay, yeah, uh, y’all are taking this surprisingly well.”

“Sure, but we still have to solve the problem on how to get you back home,” Bismuth points out.

“Will we just have to wait until Steven turns Pink again, Pearl?” Peridot inquiries. 

“I’m afraid so. Steven, what do you - “

Wait, why’d she stop talkin’? Oh, that’s why.

Steven hasn’t been speakin’ since his initial reaction to my meme. He’s bent over his chest with his head in his hands, lookin’ down at the floorboards. I ain’t even hearin’ any sorta breathin’ comin’ from him.

“Are you feeling okay, Steven?” Lapis asks with concern, reaching a consoling hand out to his shoulder. It meets, but Steven reacts as if he never felt anythin’.

Steven half-groans, half-sighs as he picks his head up. His reassuring smile contrasts heavily with his distressed eyes. “Yeah, yeah, just trying to take this in, that’s all,” he utters. Yeah, bullshit.

I guess it could be that since he’s human and he’s all familiar with cartoons that he’s graspin’ the concept of actually _being_ in one a bit more rougher than the others. But, Steven’s quick to come to terms with stuff, like he findin’ out Rose bein’ Pink Diamond and all. He’ll turn out fine.

Probably.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> perc 30 slushie baby  
> https://www.reddit.com/r/BruceDropEmOff/comments/dedb1o/look_what_i_found_a_7_11_yall_perc_slushies/


	5. Yeah No It Didn’t Go Over Well

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are alright - for a time - as the Gems and I beleaguer each other with more questions.

“Now how are we gonna get you home, Martin?”

Bismuth just asked the question of the day as the Gems, Steven, and I corral around the kitchen’s bar, discussin’ possible means to get me back to my dimension.

“Well,” Pearl begins, “Steven must channel his emotional prowess to activate the portal on the television and send Martin back through there. _But_ Steven has to be pink again in order for it to work,” she says while frowning.

“And whenever that’s happens it isn’t good,” Bismuth adds.

“Hey, that’s not completely true!” Amethyst clarifies. “He turned pink when we were Smoky Quartz and he was fine! Although we _did_ slow down time a bit . . . or we were just really fast, I forgot.” 

Hell, after all this attention bein’ brought up to his pink side I can practically _feel_ Steven’s desire to disappear right about now.

“And this transportation can _only_ happen through emotional linkages?” Peridot inquiries. When Pearl gravely nods Peridot just looks down and grumbles in frustration.

Are we just gonna haveta rile Steven up a bit? That just seems right cruel. I mean, what are we gonna do, surround him and remind him about Pink’s wrongdoing’s?

“We’re going to have to try to channel Steven’s emotional abilities _positively_ ,” Garnet speaks up outta nowhere, turning towards the guy. “Like all Gem abilities, is possible for you to collect those abilities brought on by your intense emotions about Rose and use them in a controlled manner.”

She places two hands on Steven’s shoulders, who’s lookin’ pretty uncertain and kinda anxious. “I can guide you through the process. You and I can go into your room in the Temple and meditate. Are you up for this?”

Steven’s lookin’ fairly unsure, like he was uncertain that he could even control himself any more. But after shooting a remorseful glance towards me he soon gives in to Garnet’s plan. The door opens as the duo near it, revealing the pink, cloudy, cotton-candy hellscape that is Steven’s room. 

Now it’s just the the rest of the Gems and I ‘lone. I have a feelin’ that they’re gon’ wanna ask me s’more questions about my dimension and how they’re seen as bein’ in a cartoon and all -

“So, what’s our show even called in your home dimension?” Lapis asks nonchalantly.

Speak of the Devil. “Uh, Steven Universe and Steven Universe Future?”

“*Snort* Yeah, Steven definitely would be the main character,” Lapis acknowledges, not in a condescending or scathing tone but rather a knowing one laced with appreciation for titular character.

“‘Steven Universe: Future?’ You’re saying we’ve even garnered a limited series?! Wow!” Peridot exclaims all giddily. 

Bismuth chuckles in an amused fashion. “Everyone, the guy’s been bugged long enough. Give Martin a break.”

“Nah, it’s fine,” I reply, defending Peridot ‘n Lapis. In all honesty, I was really enjoyin’ gettin’ asked earlier about this meta-type stuff. In a weird way, it kinda makes me feel like God - an omniscient ‘n all-knowing being, I guess. Now, without havin’ to defend myself any further and not having to tiptoe around Steven, I’ll gladly let ‘em ask me s’more questions. Heck, I guess I can ask ‘em a couple too.

“Hey, actually. Y’all mind if I ask you a couple questions?”

“Go ‘head, Marty,” Amethyst replies coolly.

 _Holy shit_ Amethyst just gave me a nickname. Quickly I cough, trying to play it off and remember what I was tryin’ to say. “Uh, yeah so, did y’all like, break Russia or somethin’?”

“You mean Rossiya?” Pearl corrects? I just nod - apparently _every_ damn place name on Earth got some sorta alternate naming.

Pearl hums in thought. “Well, in the middle of the Tunguska Sea there _is_ the old Galaxy Warp, so that may have caused some type of deluge of the surrounding land, hm,” she thought aloud. “Or your universe could just possess some geological disparities from ours.”

Hopefully the latter is the case. Otherwise Homeworld’s ass just drowned half the Russian taiga and prolly a buncha paleo-Siberians.

“And I guess half of Africa or whatever-it’s-called jus’ bein’ up-‘n-gone is ‘cause of alternate tectonic movements?”

“For Afruika? That could be so,” Pearl responds, not seeking to look much further into it.

“I . . . wouldn’t be so sure about that, Pearl,” Lapis corrects. ”Homeworld used us Lapis Lazulis to break apart land masses to try and terraform Earth. Despite your best efforts to stop us - including by punching me in the back and poofing me - us Lapis’s still managed to terraform Earth a bit.”

“A _bit_?!” I ask all incredulously. “Y’all done sawed Australia in half!”

”Australia?”

Pearl leans over to Lapis. “I think he is referring to New Holland,” she clarifies.

“Ohh yeah, isn’t that the place with the really dark, funny-looking humans who threw those curved sticks at me when I was terraforming there?” Lapis prompts, laughin’ in reminiscence. “That place was _weird_.”

On behalf of all Australian Aboriginals, I apologize for Lapis’s unintentional racism.

I‘ll, just, press on ‘n keep askin’. “So, y’all prevented World War Two from happenin’? Or did World War One never happen?” I ask, thinkin’ back to what that one writer of the show said. If that’s the case the ramifications of that would be, like, _huge_. 

“Oooohhhh yeeeaaahhh,” Amethyst reminisces in an amused tone, “Didn’t Garnet insist that we help that dude with the funny mustache continue his art career or, like, _another_ Great War would happen? Hoo-boy, that was boring.”

You tellin’ me they fucking _Patreon’d_ Hitler or some shit?

“Garnet said it was necessary!” Pearl defends. “It also seems that she was right, seeing how there was another Great War in Martin’s dimension without us there to stop it.”

Wack. Guess that means that Israel doesn’t exist? Or that the USSR never created the Iron Curtain? Shit, that’s like, _half_ of 20th century history completely different from mine. 

“That’s great! Good for y’all preventin’ millions of deaths,” I congratulate, pushin’ my speculations outta my head to give the Gems credit. Pearl and Amethyst give obligatory nods in response.

“So,” I raise up another ask, “I’ve always wondered: how come the gov’ment‘s ne’er really been involved with y’all? Y’know, bein’ aliens ‘n all.”

“What’s _that_ gotta to with anything?” Amethyst prods.

“Do humans in your dimension not like alien life or something?” Peridot asks en suite. “I thought that just applied to the select few, like Andy.”

“I mean,” I respond, “in my dimension aliens aren’t proven to even _exist_ yet. So, like, whenever they’re shown in movies ‘n stuff the gov’ment’s always after ‘em to contain ‘em.”

“Well, thankfully humankind has been highly insular towards our existence ever since the Rebellion ended,” Pearl responds factually.

“And they’ve _never_ been antagonistic with y’all?” I ask doubtfully while raising my eyebrows.

“Wweell,” Pearl begins sorta ruefully, “There was that _one_ time when the Umayyads tried to make us concubines . . . and when Fascist Iberia though we were communists and tried having us imprisoned . . . and when the Puritans wanted to hang us for ‘witchcraft’ . . . .” Pearl starts trailing off, seemin’ to realize _huh, humans have never really been completely uninterested in us_.

Wait a minute. You’re tellin’ me that the junking-up of the world’s landmasses by genuine aliens didn’t go ‘n affect the development of Islam, fascism, and radical Protestantism? Man, that’s pretty lame. The show’s whole “alternate history” element never really got explored more ‘side from some quick jokes like Green Canada. A part of me just kinda wishes the Crewniverse would go all out ‘n be like “fuck it, the Chinese colonized Australia, we’re in an alternate universe we can get away with that” in addition to other big stuff like World War Two never happenin’.

Peridot’s lookin’ like she’s been itchin’ to ask a question for a while now, and now that Pearl’s preoccupied she seizes her moment. “CanIaskyousomemorequestionsaboutourshow?” she rambles.

“Yeah, sure.”

“Have the fans assembled compatibility charts of us?”

Oh hell. “ . . . What do you mean?”

“Y’know,” she tries clarifying with a wave of her hand, “Shipping charts! I suspect that the dedicated fans out there have _had_ to have come up with something of the like.”

Lapis chortles. “Peri, not everybody’s as much as a nerd with their favorite shows as you are with CPH.”

Oh, Lapis, if only you knew. There’s so much porn. So much. I don’ think y’all even got reproductive body parts but _that_ ain’t stoppin’ anybody from drawin’ away with they sinful hands.

“Uuuhhh, yeah, no, there’s not a whole lotta that sorta thing.”

Peridot scoffs. “Come _on_! Every amazing show has shipping potential! It’s the mark of true quality, anyways.”

Peridot, your ass is openin’ up a can ‘a worms _you do not want to open_.

“Peridot,” Bismuth warns, “I really think that finding that out would be a bad idea. Who _knows_ how much that knowledge would affect the friendships us Crystal Gems have with each other.” Thankfully Peridot’s inquisitive nature yields to her friend’s coercive words of wisdom. Thank God. 

“If you are able to do so Martin, could you provide a possible answer to my rather, _peculiar_ , question?” Pearl requests in a kind, yet wary manner. I give her the go-ahead - all of a sudden she look’s right fearful about her question’s topic.

“. . . Sometimes, I just feel, _off_. Not mentally, or anything!” She’s quick to clarify, “But often my, proportions, will feel different. Like just the other day I could’ve sworn my nose felt longer than it usually is, but now it’s fine! Does that sound too odd?”

Lapis’s starin’ at her with wide-eyed recognition. “You feel like that too? Once I could’ve sworn my hair just, _grew_ out of nowhere!”

“Same here! And I _swear_ I have shrunk over time!” Peridot exclaims. “I used to be so much taller!”

“Heh, yeah,” I reply, fully knowing what’s troublin’ them. “Sometimes y’all be drawn off-model. That means that things like height ‘n body proportions can vary depending on the storyboard artists. It’s like a ‘creative decision’ or somethin’.”

“So it’s because of a ‘creative decision’ that sometimes I’m taller than this bar and sometimes I’m not?” Amethyst remarks kinda bitterly, referring to where we’re sitting at.

I give a smallish grin of sympathy. Her acridity disappears as she gives out a hearty chuckle. “Man, that’s kinda dumb,” She belittles. 

“Hey, I got another question,” she adds eagerly, finally gettin’ caught up in the zeal of this meta questioning. “Who are our voice actors? Those are things in cartoons, right?”

“Oh, yeah. Steven’s voice actor Zach Callison is like, 20, Garnet’s is a Brit named Estelle, and - “

“‘Estelle?’ That’s a striking name, who’s she?” Bismuth interrupts.

“Oh, she’s, uh . . . “ Huh, I really dunno a good deal ‘bout her. “She’s black, and, uh, British, and sang ‘American Boy’, I think.

“So, yeah, most of the rest of y’all are voiced by Asians who I forgot the names of. Pearl’s is Deedee Mango, or somethin’ like that.”

Amethyst chuckles, jabbing Pearl with her elbow. “You’re voice actor is named after a _fruit_!” She taunts. Pearl doesn’t give her the satisfaction of a response, yet that slight frown stretchin’ ‘cross her mouth shows me that she ain’t too pleased to have her voice actor’s name related to food.

“So Steven’s voice actor is an adult?” Peridot inquires. I confirm it with a nod. “Yeah, but he ain’t real old or anything like that,” I clarify.

Now that we’ve gotten onto the topic of Steven, I really can’t help but feelin’ like I oughta say something about the guy’s current woes. Granted, I don’t wanna be the one responsible for warping Steven Universe: Future’s whole plot line by tellin’ the Gems _hey, your boy’s gettin’ all depressed ‘n shit - get him some therapy_ or nothing like that. Plus, when the next real episode airs in a couple months time, will all that talk even matter? Or will every interaction I’ve had with the characters just be wiped away when the canon officially airs?

But I don’t really know if that’ll be the case. Maybe they’ll remember what happened, but it’ll just be in the backs of their minds ‘n they won’t explicitly say it during episodes. I dunno, maybe I’m bein’ a bit too hopeful. But if my theory’s true, I might could give a lil’ nod towards what’s developing with Steven, which in itself couldn’t hurt. Heck, it could prolly better prepare the Gems for another one of Steven’s outbursts by actually understandin’ what he’s goin’ through.

“Hey, uh, I actually gotta ask y’all a favor,” I announce, rushin’ the last part a bit. They pay attention to my request with concern as they see how uneasy I am tellin’ ‘em this.

“Please, just look out for Steven. The dude’s got that Atlas Personality, and - “

Ope, the Temple door’s opening. Out stomps Steven, lookin’ all angry 'n-

Pink. He’s fucking _pink_. 

Oh, shit. The Gems stand up from the barstools, recognizin’ Steven’s volatile state right now. Yeah, y’all do that, I’ma just go behind the bar ‘n use it as a barrier.

Garnet‘s following him out, a tad bit ‘a worry bein’ barely discernible in her voice. “Steven, calm down, let’s just - “

“ _ **No!**_ ” he booms, his voice thunderin’ up the house. “ **For once, _once_ , I just want to _not_ talk about my feelings!**!”

Lapis’s lookin’ right frantic right now. “Wait, Steven! Why are you feeling like this?”

“ **I suspected something ever since Martin told me there’s a world where we’re in a T.V show. But now, thanks to Garnet’s high ‘n mighty meditation practicing, I found out I’m right and I finally opened my eyes to what’s going on in my life.** ”

He lets out a laugh, a sinister laugh thats caked with hopelessness. “ **Don’t you get it? _Nothing_ we do matters!**”

What’s he goin’ on about -

“ **Our lives are dictated by forces out of our control - it’s all in the hands of the people who make our show, which Martin so kindly helped me realize as well. _They_ are the ones who call the shots on what we do. Maybe I’m even doing what they want right now!**“ he rants, goin’ off on a tangent.

“ **That means that everything that’s ever happened - every _horrible_ experience that I’ve ever been through - was**,” he pauses, seething with rage, “ ** _On purpose!_ Nothing but _entertainment_!**”

He jerks towards me, the pink electricity practically sprayin’ off him right now as cracks start forming in the wood floor. “ **That’s why you want to get back home, right? To take a seat and watch me _suffer more?!_** ” The tears that pricked his eyes earlier are now steadily flowin’ down his cheeks.

 _Oh fuck_ he’s steppin’ towards me, oh what do I do I shoulda _knew_ this woulda - 

“Steven, no!” Bismuth shouts, stepping forward to try ‘n reason with him.

Steven summons floating pink diamonds with a jerk of his hand, which form behind his friends. A quick wave makes the diamonds push the Gems away from the bar and towards the door. The diamonds then enlarge and fit together to form a glittering pink wall, separating the Gems from me, Steven - and the T.V.

He deftly moves behind the bar counter ‘n grabs me by the scruff of my shirt. I can hear the Gems’ pleas form him to stop. No, oh _God_ no - 

“ **You wanna go home? Fine! Go!** ” he shrieks. I watch as he hurls a clenched fist towards to T.V to make a portal and - 

It breaks. 

The T.V splits clean in two as it crashes off the side of the coffee table. I hear Steven’s heavy breathing suddenly cease. Now it’s just silent. Completely and utterly silent.

Quickly I turn up to face Steven, who’s lookin’ wholly shocked as he stares at the ruined T.V. He turns to get a look at me - and his face just sinks with guilt as he views my terrified face. Immediately after it plummets further once the weight of what he did hit him.

The barrier dissipates with a glistening sound, though I only hear it ‘cause my eyes are still glued at Steven’s devastated image. I feel the Gems come up behind me, seekin’ to soothe me with their presence. Steven steps away from me and the Gems with a scared expression, his eyes wellin’ up with more tears.

“Steven, wait!” Garnet hurriedly calls, but it’s evidently too late as Steven manages to book it past the Gems ‘n up the stairs. Not too long after I hear the telltale chime of the intergalactic portal.

Once again it’s me all ‘lone with the Gems. Which, unlike before, is now a horrifying realization.


	6. One-on-One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I try and help Steven overcome his existential crisis.

“Steven, wait!”

The Crystal Gems and I are racin’ up the stairs to get to Steven before he can get the slip on us. We zoom through his room, storm up the second flight of stairs, and barge into the garden housing the intergalactic warp. 

The Gems all cram themselves onto the warp pad. Now, how am I gonna fit myself onto - 

“Martin, wait,” Garnet halts. “I think it would be best that _we_ try and talk to Steven.”

Wait, really?! C’mon, why can’t I - wait, hold on. Let’s think about this: Steven seein’ me again might not be too good to get him to not feel like shit, and would prolly just hamper the process. I nod in understanding.

. . . But I just _gotta_ ask this question that’s been on my mind ever since Steven’s outburst. “Wait, hold on a sec.”

Pearl huffs impatiently, tappin’ her feet. “Martin, we don’t have time for this!” 

Garnet puts a hand on her shoulder. “Wait. Let him speak.”

I exhale. “So, are you guys really not freakin’ out like Steven did? Y’all aren’t shoving any anxieties down deep anywhere?”

“Well, no,” Garnet states, seeming to be speaking for everyone. “Modal realism and the infinite monkey theorem erases such worries.”

“Garnet, you said somethin’ bout that before but I ain’t got _no_ clue what that means.”

“Modal realism is the idea that all timelines are equally possible. Something that is viewed by one timeline as being ‘alternate history’ is what truly occurred in another, and vice versa.”

She sighs. “It also means that existing in a cartoon in one timeline doesn’t necessarily mean we are only defined as _being_ a cartoon. We have lives, experiences, thoughts, and desires independent of any outer-dimensional influences, and they just happen to be on a T.V show in your dimension. That’s the infinite monkey theorem part - given an infinite amount of universes - like an infinite amount of monkeys with typewriters - people in some dimension have the ability to, say, independently write a show that happens to correlate exactly with the reality of another dimension,” she states.

“Steven is just having a hard time comprehending those two notions. You might be able to help him fathom them.”

“Then . . . why don’t I tag ‘long with you guys to help him?”

“You can’t. You’ll see. Bye.”

Well wait a damn minute hold - aaannnddd they’re gone. . . . Alright. Why’d she bother tellin’ me all that science mumbo-jumbo if I can’t even tag along with ‘em?

I’ll, just, go back to the living room ‘n sit on my ass. Got nothing else to do.

. . . ‘Kay, it’s been ten or so minutes since the Gems went searchin’ for Steven and I’ve been staring at all the crystals jutting out from the wall surroundin’ the warp pad. They gotta cost a good deal, right? I’m no geologist or nothing but they look like _genuine_ crystals, so how much would they fetch on - 

Hey, the intergalactic warp just chimed. Are the Gems back with Steven already? . . . Wait, I’m only hearin’ one set of footprints. And they’re movin’ kinda slow, not at all like the frantic pacing the Gems had when I last saw ‘em. So who’s at the - 

It’s Steven. He’s walkin’ down the stairs right now. Thank _God_ he ain’t noticin’ me yet, as I’m scrunched deep into the corner of the couch. 

He’s movin’ over to the door - he’s pushin’ it open. ‘Kay, now he’s outside. Peeking my head ‘round the staircase to get a better view I can see that he’s slumped over the guardrail, lookin’ out to the sea ‘n bein’ all melancholic. 

Well . . . I gotta say _somethin’_ to alleviate his thoughts. That’s prolly why Garnet gave me that whole speech about the monkeys and “module realism” or whatever the hell it’s called. I gotta be gentle about this though, so I’ma go up to the screen door and knock on it to notify him of my presence.

Steven nearabout jumps outta his skin as he hears my rapping on the door. He whips around ‘n looks at me with guilty surprise, like he just got caught playin’ his DS after his mom told him to go to bed. I put my hands up in reassurance. 

“Hey, it’s just me here. The Gem’s are all gone.”

He lets go of his tense form, probably realizing he can’t do much else right now other than surrender. Steven avoids my gaze by staring down at his sandals as if they was the most important thing on the porch. “. . . I thought you were gone, too.”

“Yeah, uh . . . D’ya wanna come back inside? Take a seat, or somethin’?” I propose.

“. . . Okay,” he acquiesces. He trudges past me as I hold the door open, and starts walkin’ upstairs. Gingerly I follow and enter his room as he plops down onto his bed, facing the T.V. I dunno if I should join him or not, so I’ma just stand at the top of the stairs ‘n be ready for anything.

Steven, not sparin’ me a glance, lifts his arm up all phlegmatically ‘n gestures around his room. “Do you recognize anything here?” he queries hollowly.

Well, yeah. There’s his Cookie Cat alarm clock, a photo of Connie, and that weird-ass painting of Steven and Garnet on some clouds. But I can’t go and tell him that.

“You probably know about a lot of this stuff,” he acknowledges. “Things nobody should _ever_ have a right to know.”

Alright, I’ma just cut to the chase before Steven lists off more troubling concepts. “You’re, you’re not a cartoon, man,” I say, steppin’ closer a bit.

He scoffs. “Yeah, nice try.”

“No, I mean - look. You ain’t only a cartoon. You’ve got lives - a life, and experiences, uh, desires ‘n thoughts that’re independent of any sorta foreign influencing.”

He looks up at me and smiles in appreciation. “Sounds like Garnet told you to say that,” he knowingly tells.

“Yeah,” I admit. “But she knows what’s good: that her life ‘n yours ain’t restricted to a cartoon. Sure, _I_ see it that way, but that’s just ‘cause that’s how it appears to _my_ dimension. You have your own existence.”

“So what if that’s true? That doesn’t change the fact that there are people out there who, _watch_ me!” he exclaims in a revolted manner, abruptly standing up. “Who actually _enjoy_ seeing me go through whatever life throws at me!” Realizing what he’s doin’ he plops back down onto his duvet, afraid of going into another pink-mode outburst.

Crap, yeah, he’s kinda got a point. Drama does get them views. Man, why the hell did Garnet made me talk to him? I ain’t never even been one of them good comfortin’ types anyhow. How can I comfort him without tying back any sorta comfortin’ material to Steven’s life? . . . Wait - I got an idea.

“Well, uh . . . not really.”

Steven shoots me a side glance. Alright, that’s perked his attention, good. 

“Steven, people who watch the show don’t just like the premise - they _love_ the characters in it. Including you. Y’all seem like, real people to us.”

“And that’s only because the writers did a good job fleshing us out, isn’t it?” Steven argues, soundin’ acrid.

“No man, no, that means you _are_ real people, as I’ve been sayin’ before. And, like, real people care for other real people’s wellbeing. Like, back where I come from people are real sad ‘bout the misfortunes you’re currently grapplin’ with.”

“Well, I sympathized with the problems going on in Crying Breakfast Friends,” he corroborates. “And they’re just a cartoon. How can I know that this isn’t the same thing happening to me?”

“I - um - jeez, uh - how d’ya know that that’s the case?” I hastily reply, desperately searchin’ for words.

He gives me an unamused look. “I watched them on my T.V.”

“And I watched _you_ on T.V!” I retort, exasperated. “But here I am, standin’ next to the real you, in your real room, in your real house, in your real universe. Heck, I bet if you used your powers you could pull them Cryin’ Breakfast things from their real dimension into yours!” I exclaim as I throw my hands up in emphasis.

“I’m sorry that your life story managed to get displayed to my dimension as a show. But, that doesn’t mean your life ain’t real or not worth anythin’.”

I sigh. “Look man, I’m ain’t a good talker like you are. All I’m sayin’ is that you’re a real dude, your friends ‘n family are real, and where I come from people care ‘bout you.” I conclude, resting a hand onto Steven’s shoulder.

Steven’s real silent right now. Hopefully that’s a good sign. He’s starin’ at his bedroom floor, his eyes squinted in thought. Suddenly he lets out a small sigh as he closes his eyes, then stands up to face me. A barely tangible smile of acceptance is etched ‘cross his mouth. 

“. . . Thank you, Martin. I needed to hear that. I’ll still need, uh, some time to better understand this, but thank you anyways.”

“No problem, dude.” Holy shit my rambling actually _worked_? Man, I done nearly worked up a sweat tryna find me good words to say to Steven. Guess Garnet’s faith in me was sorta right. Heck, I’m on a role! Maybe I could even dare and try to fix Steven’s other issues so they don’t cause him to corrupt himself or -

No, no. I can’t be the one to talk to Steven about that. I’m just a normal dude, a dude who ain’t always playin’ therapist like Steven. I ain’t some sorta self-insert hero. The only thing I done fixed in Steven’s life is the existential crisis brought upon by _me_. So, it’ll be better if someone that knows him a good deal can talk with him ‘bout his fear about people moving on. Like Connie, or Greg - heck, Andy’ll probably be the best to talk with Steven about the topic of change. It’s best _they_ help him.

Suddenly the ring of the intergalactic warp pad goes off and Garnet’s calm, instructing voice reaches my ears. 

“Remember: Martin has likely talked it through with Steven now. But you all must maintain an compassionate attitude. He could still be in a volatile state.”

Are - are they fucking serious? What the hell! Are they _that_ outta tune with Steven that they gotta treat him like he's dangerous?! I glance over to Steven to see his understandingly embarrassed and pissed-off reaction. Huh. Instead he just chortles softly and shakes his head at yet another example of the Gems’ condescension. 

Well, I hope that that issue regardin’ the Gems will go ‘n get solved in Future. That’s all I can - and should - do, anyways. Just hope.


	7. T.V Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I finally go home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank y’all so much for sticking with this story. This fic has recieved the most kudos’s I’ve ever gotten on one, and it’s all thanks to y’all for appreciating it. I’m real glad you guys have liked it.
> 
> Try'n find the reference to “That Distant Shore."

“Steven!”

Pearl comes hollerin' n bargin’ into the room and crushes Steven in a bear hug. The others come followin' after and together they envelop Steven in a group hug.

“How ya feelin’, little man?” Amethysts asks with sisterly-love coating her voice.

“I, I’m doing fine” he replies, blushin’ a bit in the face. “This is all just really, revolutionary, you know?”

Peridot has a grin from ear to ear. “Definitely! Finally I’ve found out why I’ve become a homunculus!”

Lastly Garnet comes down the stairs, sauntering with deliberation. She stops in front of Steven, the other Gems moving to give ‘em space. Her stone exterior diminishes a tad once she gives him a proud smile. “I knew you would come to understand this revelation. I’m proud of you.”

Steven’s smile stretches wider after hearin’ that. “Thank you, Garnet.” The others corral him again in a group hug. Huh, Garnet ain’t joining the huddle, what’s up with tha - ope, she’s walkin’ towards me. 

“Martin,” she states, stopping right close to me. “Thank you. For all your help.”

“Oh, yeah, uh, no biggie,” I reply in a real abashed ‘n somewhat miffed tone. “I mean, all I did was solve a problem _I_ created.”

“You didn’t mean to get teleported to this dimension,” she reminds. “But you _still_ ended up fixing the issue your presence caused.”

Wow, alright, fucker. I'ma just nod - something about me having to solve a problem I ain't had no control in making sounds kinda familiar. Hey, at least I’m not bein’ used as an emotional crutch for grown-ass women and not overloaded with the expectations of my dead mom. And my guardian never tried turnin’ my best friend into a legit Banzai soldier and made her treat me as if I was Hirohito himself. Sorry, kinda felt like goin’ on a rant there. But just really think about this for a second: the Gems are kinda shit caretakers. They're fine ladies 'n all, sure, but after seeing Steven's internal issues reaching a crescendo - issues that the Gems historically ain't paid no attention to 'n may have absentmindedly encouraged with their reliance on him to help 'em with all _their_ issues - really got me thinkin'. And to top that all off they treated Steven as if he was an active bomb after I talked things out with him.

. . . But, yeah, the Gems are still fine folk. They've done a good service to Earth by protecting' it, 'n I _guess_ they (mostly) raised Steven right. They can't help the fact that they was never familiar with families ‘n rearing up young until Steven came 'long. Or the real heavily wartime baggage they carried ending up being unintentionally dumped onto Steven's empathetic ass. But they're payin' attention to Steven's woes _now_ , so I guess that's good. And look at ‘em right now, smotherin’ Steven with affection. Yeah, I guess despite all their flaws the Gems are still fine guardians.

Huh. I just switched my views on the Gem's parenting on a dime. Reckon I oughta see a psychologist, 'cause my brain be workin' like a poorly-planned fanfic that just spews thoughts out whenever it feels like it.

Garnet and I go ‘n join the others. "We're all glad you come to a healthy revelation, Steven," Garnet announces. "But we still must transport Martin back to his home." 

Steven's face freezes into a wide-eyed, strained smile as he realizes this, his previous contentment ending now he's hearing he's gotta try'n get me home. Man, I don't wanna put Steven through all that worryin' 'bout his out-of-control powers again. I'ma offer up an alternate solution:

"Pearl, y’sure that _only_ Steven can open up them portals? There ain’t _nothing_ else that can help ‘im or anythin’?"

Pearl hesitates, tucking her lips inside her mouth as she eyes us. "I, uh, yes. Yes, there is sort of another way. But I didn't want us to try it because it's _highly_ dangerous!" she stresses.

"Well, what is it?" Amethyst prods.

"While Steven can open the portal himself, we can use objects that Steven possesses emotional attachment to, and place them in a specific order around a portal opening in order to make it easier for Steven to open the portal."

So we're creating an altar, huh. Like we're a buncha Catholics. Or like the Mythology Island on Poptropica where you gotta put stuff on the altars to unlock the doors to places like the Underworld. Both are solid examples.

"But this process is _incredibly_ unstable and could end up destroying the chance of creating a portal!" she argues.

Bismuth ponders the idea with a hum. "Still worth a shot,” she comments with a shrug. “We don’t really have any other options available. Whaddya think, Steven?"

He glances from his T.V to various possessions of his around his room. "Alright, let's try it." he decides. Steven then starts going around the room, methodically gathering up an armful of various items and accessories. He grabs the photo of Connie, the Cookie Cat alarm clock, and a framed image of the Gems. Steven pauses at the picture of Greg and Rose, ruminatin’ on whether to choose it or not, but instead grabs one of Greg’s CDs. Lookin’ down at the bundle in his hands, he cautiously walks over to his T.V and adorns it with his chosen items.

“Will this be enough?” he asks Pearl. She gives a hopeful nod in response.

“Just imagine you are opening up your temple door,” Pearl instructs.

The dude takes in a deep breath, his hands coming to hover near his gem like he’s festering energy from it. Dimly it starts glowin’, a soft hum fillin’ the air as the T.V also starts shining pink. Well I’ll be, this is actually workin’? It ‘pears so, at least. The T.V and Steven’s gem are gradually gettin’ brighter ‘n more saturated in color, bathing the altar’s accessories in pink light. Huh, yeah, that’s a _lotta_ pink gradient goin’ on. And what’s that cracklin’ sound - 

***chk- _KOW!*_**

Ow, _fuck_! That prolly ain’t good. All that showering of pink light just instantly evaporated in somethin’ that sounded like a stun grenade 'n gave my ears a real pounding. ‘N now there’s all this pink lightnin’ surroundin’ the T.V - kinda like a supercharged creeper, if you can imagine it. The objects look spared from the energy's grasp, though.

Everybody looks taken aback by what just happened, myself included. Steven’s got this unsure, kinda frightened expression on. Soon it turns to shame. “. . . It didn’t work, didn’t it?”

Pearl steps up to the T.V and nears a testing hand towards it, instantly reelin’ it back as a shaky bolt of electricity jumps out towards it. “I’m afraid so, Steven,” she says all apologetically.

He huffs in frustration. “Dangit, I just _can’t_ make these things!” he voices his frustration.

“That’s not true, Steven!” Lapis protests in defense of himself, steppin’ close to Steven. “You’re under a lot of stress tight now, but I know you can find a way to make it happen!”

“Yeah, don’t worry, Steve-o. Doesn’t Greg have a T.V? We’ll just borrow his,” Amethyst offers nonchalantly. 

He glances around all unsure before turnin’ to Pearl. “I can’t use any items to help me again, can’t I?” he asks, dreading the likely answer. Pearl gives him a smile, one that confirms what Steven said while still tryna be sympathetic.

Garnet kneels down in front of Steven. “You are a strong person, Steven. I know you are able to do this.” He smiles as the others come into his field of view to show their support. All the while I’m just not interferin’ and standin’ off in the distance like a sack of rocks. . . . And yeah, I said the objects around the T.V are fine but the T.V itself is _fucked_.

~

"Hey, schtu-ball! Who's your friend?"

We all just approached Greg at his car wash, who looks like he’s been busy watchin’ some classic sci-fi flicks on his van’s T.V.

“Oh! Dad, this is Martin. He’s . . . a friend.”

“He came out of Steven’s T.V,” Garnet corrects, unwavering in her stoic delivery.

He raises his eyebrows askew in confusement. "What?” he questions.

“And proved the multiverse theory!” Pearl adds eagerly and unabashed.

Greg’s eyes widen in astonishment as he places a hand onto his forehead. “What?! Oh, jeez, what - what does that even mean?”

Steven takes note of his dad’s anxiety, putting his hands up in reassurance. “Hold on, Dad, it’s not a scary thing. It’s just . . .”

“We’re a cartoon in another domension, dude,” Amethyst quips mercilessly.

Greg’s eyes nearabout pop outta his skull. “ _What?!_ ” he yells. Aw hell, now he’s startin’ to dry heave.

“Dad!” Steven exclaims, rushing to his old man’s aid ‘n giving a reprimandin’ look back at the Gems. “I know this is a lot to take in but,” he pauses, seeming to be tryin’ to convince himself as well as Greg. “It - It’s okay. This doesn’t alter anything about our lives. We’re not, fake. Our lives aren't determined for us. We are who we choose to be.”

Greg sits up from his doubled-over position in the van and looks at his boy, his face much less distraught. “Thanks, kiddo,” he lovingly tells before takin’ in a deep breath. “ _Hoo_ -boy, this, this is surely somethin’, huh?”

Steven nods in consensus. “Definitely. Right now we,” he says while gesturing to us all, “need to borrow you T.V. You see, we’re trying to return Martin back to his dimension and we need a T.V to create a portal. Then I can open the portal with my gem using emotional connections.”

Greg looks like he’s in class tryna understand real hard what the teacher’s sayin’ but still havin’ it all fly over his head. “. . . Okay.” With that incredibly terse approval he hops outta his van and steps quickly ‘n awkwardly away.

I turn towards Pearl. “What should I do? To help, or somethin’?”

She thinks over the notion before turnin' to me. “Unfortunately, no. Steven will have to perform all the work to get this operating.” Oh, if that ain’t just the _exact_ fuckin’ anecdote for Steven’s life.

Steven calmly gravitates his hands around his gem like before, his face strained in concentration. Just like before, his gem and the T.V screen shine with rose-tinted light, with Greg off to the side lookin’ astonished at yet another example of his son’s power and prowess.

 _Hoo_ -ey, okay, things are lookin’ like they’re working. Ain’t nothing cracklin’ or sizzlin’ from static electricity, at least not yet anyways. I guess that means that . . . this is likely the last moments I have in Steven’s dimension. The last moments I got to be in this incredible scenario that done got thrusted upon me.

Prying my eyes off of Steven, I glance around to look at all the characters - nah, nah, _people_ \- I have grown to know personally. All these extraordinary people. I mean sure, recently I’ve been givin’ the Gems shit for doin’ Steven dirty in his childhood, but I still reckon that I oughta commend ‘em for what they have done good, as well as what Steven’s done.

Suddenly a familiar iridescent sheen covers the T.V screen like a stain. Crap, I gotta speak up now before it’s too late! “Wait! Jus' before I leave, I gotta tell y’all somethin’.

“I jus' wanna let y'all know how much y'all mean to me. To me y'all're shown as great characters on T.V, but outside of that you're also great people who've done some real good things. Y’all’ve taught me and so many others how to become better and more empathetic people. Thank you for makin' an impact in my life." Yeesh, that sounded kinda sappy. Bein' in a show that works a good deal with emotions is prolly gettin' to me. 

Still, everyone looks touched with what I said. Pearl, Amethyst, and Lapis are blushing in various degrees, Bismuth, and Peridot are wearin' huge grins, and Garnet's kinda grinning while givin’ me a thumbs-up.

Steven ain't smilin', oddly enough. He seems to be takin' a moment absorbing what I said, as if he can't believe he was ever capable of helping people. Finally, he puts on a smile. "That means a lot, Martin. Thank you," Steven replies with half-assed sincerity. I understand that he still has gotta good deal of internal conflicts 'n junk to work on, so I give him a small bout of respite by responding with a smile. Now I turn away to get a lookit the portal head-on.

That familiar piercing glow is startin’ to emanate from Greg’s old T.V. It's enveloping me now, so much and so bright that I'm gonna haveta close my eyes soon if I don't wanna blind myself. But that's the last thing I wanna do right now.

I turn back to get one glimpse of some people that've grown to be very impactful in my life. Everyone, even Steven 'n Greg, all are given' me lovely smiles. The bluest skies above them were as gorgeous and pastel as ever. Skies from a show that have given me funny feelings I ain't never felt before I've watched it. Experienced it. Lived it.

God, I can't believe that the show's ending soon. It sure has been a helluva ride. Their lives ain't ending, of course, but their story for _us_ is. Can’t wait to see whose story gets broadcasted into our dimension, just like what Steven's did. It’s bound to be good, I reckon.

The blinding light finally becomes unbearable even as I face everyone, and I finally close my eyes and accept it. 

Thank you, Steven Universe. Thank you for everything.

**_~Zip!~_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For this story I had Martin speak in a Southern Appalachian accent, both to add some flavor to the story as well as to characterize how I personally would talk, with me growin’ up down South ‘n all. 
> 
> I used two documentaries to help me freshen up my Appalachian vocab, and both are pretty good. One is called “Mountain Talk” and focuses on the Southern Appalachian dialect/accent (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=03iwAY4KlIU), and another is called “American Tongues” and focuses on a variety of good ol’ American accents (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0mSstSG0O9U)
> 
> The Appalachian accent is a lot like the classic Southern accent, except it just sounds kinda, _saucier_ , as seen in the clips. The dialect is something I hold very near and dear to my heart, and an important feature of Southern culture. But, as with the rest of the array of Southern accents, the accent is stereotyped as belonging to racist, homophobic, uneducated rednecks and is often viewed negatively. And that’s just plain wrong ‘n culturally insensitive. Making this assumption is like saying all Muslims are terrorists.
> 
> I hope it wasn’t too distracting to see this accent displayed in my fic. Maybe it gave people their first glimpse into the world of Appalachian English. But if not, I hope my choice still added some neat lil’ charisma to my fic.


	8. Press (F) to Pay Respects

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So Steven Universe ended.
> 
> so now what do i do

Bruh, he done turned himself into a pickle?! Ha! Man, if that ain’t the funniest shit I’ve eva’ seen, I’ll -

Oh, hey! Didn’t see ya there. It’s been a hot minute, I reckon.

So yeah, Steven Universe finally concluded its six year run, and _hoo-boy_ did that finale suck the life outta me good. . . . Yeah, okay, not _that_ much. I wish it had a bit more _umph_ to it and a couple things done a bit differently. But I still really enjoyed it, and thought it ended on a pretty solid and satisfying ending. And I think that critique sums up a good portion of Steven Universe - ya wish some things were handled differently/better, but ya still have a real good time watchin’ it. I mean, man, when Steven gets healed of corruption and breaks down crying - I mean _seriously_ breaks down - I audibly said “Fuck me” ‘cause that shit there was brutal. And America’s only got 39 states? Rebecca, if your ass is tellin’ me my good ol’ Tennessee don’t exist, I’ma start throwin’ shit.

Even though the show’s finally concluded, its influence on me will never fade. Steven Universe has impacted me - and many other fans - in a way that ain’t no other show has done before. It actually made me want to be a kinder ‘n more empathetic person, helped me understand mental issues better, and gave me a greater appreciation for animation as an art form for all ages to enjoy. 

Y’know, I pray - I _genuinely_ pray - that there will be more cartoons like Steven Universe. Cartoons that ain’t afraid to prioritize drama over comedy. Cartoons whose comedy is a lot more subdued and not so on-the-nose as others. Cartoons that show incredible depth in character development, foreshadowing, and symbolism. Cartoons that are planned from the beginnin’ and have little breadcrumbs that provide inklings at important future revelations. Cartoons that _require_ rewatchin’ in order to fully grasp its themes and craftsmanship in order to fully appreciate it. Cartoons that treat their audience with maturity and respect. Cartoons that ain’t afraid to change the animation game forever.

And yeah, no duh, the show had its fair share of issues. Stuff like Steven bein’ in every episode removed the possibility of havin’ episodes that just dealt with other characters and made Steven feel like the sole impetus for the plot. There were a lotta filler episodes in seasons 4/5 that dealt with characters and scenarios not a whole lotta dudes gave a hoot about. New characters often got shafted hard (Peridot ‘n Lapis got their asses sent to the ranch, Bismuth was bubbled for two seasons instead of Steven and the others talkin’ things out with her, and the show just up ‘n left Lars the Off Colors in space and didn’t get to see their character development as space pirates). But these critiques generally pale in comparison to all the show’s real amazing attributes I just mentioned along with its spectacular and unique soundtrack, gorgeous background scenery, and a whole slew of other good things.

Thank you, Rebecca Sugar, for creating such an impactful show. Thank you, God, for gifting humanity with our innate creativity that ended up creating Steven Universe. Thank you, Steven Universe, for changing my life.

Welp, that’s all I can think of to say right now - oh wait! Hold on, lemme go ‘n grab a couple things . . . . Okay, yeah, here they are. As one last hurrah for Steven Universe, and kinda as a callback to when I used a meme to prove to the Gems and Steven they was in a cartoon, I thought I’d go ‘n show y’all all the ~~really bad~~ creative shitposts I have made pertaining to Steven Universe. They can be found on my tumblr, cansomebodytellmewhatsgoingon.

https://cansomebodytellmewhatsgoingon.tumblr.com/post/189713412285

https://cansomebodytellmewhatsgoingon.tumblr.com/post/189751264365

https://cansomebodytellmewhatsgoingon.tumblr.com/post/189816631960

https://cansomebodytellmewhatsgoingon.tumblr.com/post/189952366085/steven-out-here-growing-that-minecraft-dead-bush

https://cansomebodytellmewhatsgoingon.tumblr.com/post/190557630885/me-watching-steven-universe-future-and-seeing

https://cansomebodytellmewhatsgoingon.tumblr.com/post/190888242270

https://cansomebodytellmewhatsgoingon.tumblr.com/post/611519500007997440/azura-is-able-to-befriend-everyone-even-her

https://cansomebodytellmewhatsgoingon.tumblr.com/post/611960007756578816/steven-be-the-type-of-guy-to-main-doc-montagne

https://cansomebodytellmewhatsgoingon.tumblr.com/post/612437041341497344/how-could-you-do-this-to-me-america-i-guess-you

https://cansomebodytellmewhatsgoingon.tumblr.com/post/613229057462697984/the-beginning-of-fragments-be-like

https://cansomebodytellmewhatsgoingon.tumblr.com/post/613317191250706432

https://cansomebodytellmewhatsgoingon.tumblr.com/post/613670838908157952

This show has been one helluva ride, and I can’t wait to see the other cartoons that we’ll grow to love as well (ngl that Owl House do be lookin kinda fresh doe). Later!


End file.
